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7/20/2008

What if I had only one year left to live?







If I only would have a year to live, what would I do?

Zentao asked me this question.

I sat in my room and looked out the window at a wonderful peaceful landscape. Normally, my heartbeat would be calm and unnoticed, but not now. My heart hammered with a force that I could not subdue. With each stroke it said: I'm not ready to die, I'm still not ready. I looked around me. My eyes glided over the environment in which I was and were I would be probably found dead. Everything was normal and routine but my feelings were not. Life is beautiful, it can not be that end - here and now. Despair mixed with excitement ......

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There is one question for me, am I ready to go in a year. Is this my decision? Because I believe that for all of us once the day comes when we will pass over with our own inner consent. If not, I would fight. I would consult death. Healing meditations, and maintain contact with the 'inner' master. I am sure that he would show me the ways to stay one step ahead of death.

If I only have a year to live I would be looking for a place to die. A place that I really would like to look at the last moment of my life - as the last picture of this beloved earth. I would think about how my last day would run.Do I want to be alone or want to spend that day with people. What would I want to wear on my last day on earth. How does the ground feels like when I sink dying to the ground? Is it soft sand where I am digging my hands in, like I wanted to return to Mother Earth? Sand, that will better adapt to my body forms than any high-tech mattress?

With whom do I have open issues that I would want to bring to an end? I would try to order things. Personally or as a meditation ....

And then I would be traveling around the world and meanwhile writing a book. The book would really be worth reading, because death as a friend would write too. He and I we would become friends and mutually we would show us the world until I feel that the moment of farewell has come ....

What would you do if you had only a year to live? This question might be answered by whoever is fearless enough to face the final question.


Enough of seriousness:

"Mom, mom, why are people always so suddenly dying in our family ?"
Mom !?!?!? Mooommmiiii ...... !?!?!?


8 comments:

Pandu said...

A good in-depth thoughtful article. If you asked me, my answer is I will hold my whole family, my wife, my kids (Oh..Jeez, my eyes wet)..and give them the warmest hug for the left one full year. Thanks for sharing this.

Jena Isle said...

That's a tough question. I don't know what I'll do, I'd probably do all the things that I should have done in the first place. The things I'd do for the people I cared most - my family.

A thought provoking question.

Liara Covert said...

Death is one of few experiences that humans assume is inevitable. It may breed fear.

Another view concerns the possible immortality of the soul. Some people believe there is no such thing as death, nothing to fear, and everything to cherish right now. If you take this view, then which geographical earthly location becomes your last in this world is less important.

Robin said...

I think it's a silly question.

Also - If I was to write a book, I would prefer to be inspired by life, love and connection rather than death and separation. I believe death is a choice, and we don't have to do it, so imagining it only kills off our energy - for no good reason.

God wants us to live - we are designed to be God's expression in the physical plane, in my opinion. We kill ourselves off in an attempt to separate ourselves from God.

Here ends my soapbox!

Rob said...

I've asked myself this question many times, and the answer for me is usually the same. I would try to learn those things that I have put off looking into, and I would settle any open issues that I could without hurting anyone. Of course, none of us knows that we'll be around for that long, anyway. So try to make the most of each day. Not always easy, but tomorrow it could be harder.

Ray Gratzner said...

Dear pandu, well I am happy that you have a family to hold and to live with. Thank you for commenting.

Dear jena, to do something for his family might be a wonderful deed and will never be forgotten. Thank you.


Dear Liara, I agree with you. Under the assumptions you make... For me the place would make a difference. I know it from near death experiences....

Dear robin, thank you for your valuable thougts. When I am aware that my time is limited, my heart is full of love. and I wouldn't intend to attract 'death energy'..


Dear rob thank you for your opinion. To me it seems you are man of action. You would handle it, I assume. Thank you

Enreal said...

This article taught me of the values behind your writing... the values of the heart... you are blessed Ray... to know of death and plan for our final visions, your final place... the journey is inevitable it is the destination... the outcome... your piece of mind...

p.s. this reminded me of something I wrote and came to revisit. I hope you enjoy... the barter system of words... great isn't it? http://enreal.wordpress.com/2008/01/26/conversation-with-death/

Ray Gratzner said...

Dear enreal, thank you for seeing me as a blessed man. I will visit your link and comment.