How to (not) recognize demoniacs?

The Bildzeitung (Zeitung=newspaper) reports by the six signs helping you to recognize the devil, especially when he has taken the neighbors as apartment.

1st "Demoniacs hate everything (crucifixes, holy water, Bibles). Mention the name of Jesus makes them extremely aggressive.
2nd In the cushions of their beds you can feel wreaths made up of feathers.
3rd Possessed often speak languages that they never have learned.
4th Possessed are often very sad, very depressed, laugh and joke rare.
5th In their rooms, often objects are flying from the table and at the the windows appear inexplicable characters.
6th Possessed tell malicious truth about other persons, which they really do not know. "

My opinion:

1st Well. To hate a religion has a history. In general, people are disappointed by the faith before they start to hate religion.
2nd I think it's inappropriate behaviour to search the bed linen of foreign people. It is quite clear beyond good behavior, and possibly an unconscious compensation act to celibacy?
3rd Well, would all memories of reincarnation be the work of the devil, when people suddenly speak Swahili or otherwise. What is the devil fond of that he indulges in the memories of the past? Is he sentimental, can he not let go?
4th My God, now let the sad one their peace. They are already sad I assume they have no need for a bit exorcism.
5th Objects can fall very easily from the desk, in case of untidy people, like me, simply by additional putting things on the desk. I do this almost every day.
6th Maybe because the bad guys are knitted so simple that they can be predicted very well.

All in all you can by the help of any such criteria declare each person demoniac who had left the Catholic Church ........