Feelings left behind II

Recently I am affected by an inexplicable, sad feeling that I feel in my navel area. It is mourning, painful and inexplicable intense. I have taken the feeling in my meditation in order to fathom its significance.

I recalled a moment of my childhood. My mother told me about my great-grandmother and what had happened her. She had given eight children the gift of life. During the Second World War, the six sons had to join the army.

While the war was raging, time and again the postman brought a letter from the Wehrmacht. These letters contained the news that one of their sons had fallen. My great-grandmother took the letter, she said nothing, went to her room and locked herself in. She remained unseen for a day or two and let no one enter the room. Nobody knew what sh did in the room. When she came back after after days, she was quiet, and she would never again speak of her dead child.

In my meditation, I can feel the pain, to lose loved ones. I feel a woman grieving for her children. If we do not talk about feelings this does not mean that we will not pass the emotions on. My great-grandmother passed their pain on to my mother. During the narrative of my mother she has passed the feelings on to me.

A generation hands off feelings to the next, and how long might it take for the feelings of our ancestors to be no longer present? If it were like in the Bible, to the seventh member? I do not know. I know that not every feeling I experience is a feeling of my own, and that makes the world not easier.