Knowledge III

Knowledge II

"... was a dark lake, where I sat and was filled by a feeling of hatred for this man yet, I had the feeling that I loved him. But I felt the truth exactly. I did not love him, I hated him. And at first I saw this lake of sorrow, like a place wherein all my sad feelings had flown. But then I noticed that the lake lived. The lake was my man. In my ears echoed his words, but I gazed spellbound at this dark liquid substance, from where time and again a whip-like fiber struck out and hit me. "

"What I saw then explained my hatred. The fiber cut through living fibers, my living fibers, containing sweet light, nourishing light. They seemed to bleed and became black. I was at a place of horror. Everywhere injured fibers which no longer flowed with life. 'Why are you doing this?', I thought. The question alone changed my perspective of this perception enormous. "

"I saw an area of the dark lake. The lake, which was actually my husband. In the middle of the lake, there were solid structures. These structures were like granite. Curious, I touched them, and in touch, I understood that these granite structures were the convictions, which constituted the ego of my husband. And they were not negotiable. Rather, he would leave people, as put these structures into question. They were deep at the bottom of the lake and in a wonderful way, there was a clear voice in me that I said that my man would need years to recognize that there was a connection between his nature to hurt me and the granite structure. "

"Love meant to him that a woman had to give up herself, because men were the more important people. He liked me because of the pleasure that I could give him, but he rejected my form as inferior. If I had given up to love me then it would have been OK with him. I understood the fruitlessness of my desire to find true love. As long as men did not consider women as human, they would not love them. The I saw the place of my injury. From the outside my energy field looked as if someone had thrown a bomb in my solar plexus from outside. And I had allowed all the years in search of true love. "

'Don't despair', said the voice in my head that I did not feel at the moment, 'and look here.' I saw how my life might look like. Free. A happy flame. "

"Since then I follow the voice of my sight. I have found true love in me and I want to bring you on the path of seeing, which is not so difficult to achieve for men, because they are simpler structured in their obsessions. Power Sex, money and attention, those are their wishes, to which they are bound with mediocre simplicity and liberated of them - they see. This simplicity is just beautiful, like the simplicity of their obsessions is frightening for us women. "

"Do you want to learn to see?"

"Sure, who would not - but to renounce sex, money and attention that would be a hard fate." She laughed and touched me. I felt as if the ground beneath my feet was gone.